When do I get a life? Answer: After everyone I ever wanted at my wedding is dead!

This was written after my best friend had past on from cancer. I was going through a depression and feeling very lonely. I was not making B Vitamin smoothies every day either, as I had not learned that trick yet.

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When do I get a life?
You got who you wanted at your wedding.
My friend who I really wanted at my wedding is dead.
My other friend has MS and Alzheimer's. She'll die too.
My other friend rarely calls and is busy.

When do I get a life?
No one wants me. Something about comfort zones and meats and such.
No one wants me. Something about Jesus and transvesite science...
something about must eat meat and poultry or sex change will happen.
something about Me am Doctor! Me am Male'oran! Me rule!

When do I rule?
I don't. I never rule.
I have needs too!
They told me to bleep off!
I wanted to play that piano!
I was told I'd break it!
I wanted to play my piano!
I was told  sorry, Sister has needs!

When do my needs get met?
I have no dryer that woirks.
I have an old washer.
Both needs replacing but....
rich bastards make them only last for 7 years.
What happens then?
After those notorious 7 years?

I will have no washer.
I will have no dryer.
I will have no life.
I have no wheres to go.
My parents will be dead.
In heaven, where they will have a life.
They are old and could die off without warning.
My dad is at least 80 yrs old.
My mother has Alzheimers and worships gluten.
Where will I be?
I will be sentenced to hell.
Why? Because I hated my life and refused to grow...
 I refused to worship hate and grow their hate too.

Grow! Grow where you are planted!
Worship guns to your head!
Worship hate and discrimination!
Worship hell on earth!
Worship hate and worship the hell Christians put you through!
Worship it! Or Jesus Bleeping Christ will curse you!
Because YOU have sin in your life! YOU are cursed!

I guess the definition of Christian is "I am now God and perfect!"
I guess the definition of Christian is...
Must worship Comfort Zones.
Must brag about how stupid in the head you are why you can not learn sign language.
Must never ever take the disabled person out and be friends with them.
Must never allow the disabled or the mentally ill or the deaf or the deaf-blind
into the kingdom of "Heaven" because it is only for the Hitler worshipers!

Don't believe me? He had nothing to do with us too - except if it involved a gun.
Yes, oh yes, he shot us with bullets. He murdered us too!
You murder us with your hate and your worship of comfort zones!
I have to pay $10 to have friends in my life!
What about you? Do you pay too?
This world of hate and evil is only going to get worse.
This world of hate and evil is getting more evil.

Don't believe me? Look at you.
My God is Love. His name is Y'Shua.
Your Jesus god is not god, for he is cruel and as
cruel as you!
I am tired of you.
I will not go to your holier than thou building of hate and discrimination.
I do not need your hate.
I need love.

I go dancing at the club.
No one will be my partner.
I try to go dancing anyway.
I should just learn jigs and dance by myself.
I hate them. Oh, how I hate them.
I said before I am not trying to find a mate.
I know better.
They all worship fatness and big headedness.
I don't need a fat 'rse in my life.
I want a life.
I am not a couch potato.
I hate my life.

When do I get a life?
I will get a life when everyone is dead.
I will then move to England and they will kick me out too.
Then, I will die and go to heaven. Then, and only then, will I have a life.
I will have a life when I am dead.
I will then go to a Y'Shua heaven where Jews and Hebrew and Jewish culture is allowed.
I will go where disabled people, stutterers, death, blind, deaf-blind, and mentally ill are allowed.
I will go where I am allowed and those comfort zone worshippers will not be found.
God will say he never knew You because You told His people to go to Hell!

 Why do people not want to attend church?

1. Those who react to scents are told "we don't care" by too many so-called Believers (majority). Where I attend, a person insisted on sitting in the allergy free area with her smelly perfume. She was arrogant, selfish- didn't care who she made very sick. Those believers treat us like they want us dead and not in their "privileged" heaven. My friend landed in the hospital due to asthma from all the scents around.

2. Deaf can't attend our churches because we arrogantly refuse to learn their culture and their sign language and yet we are to witness to them? Or is Salvation only for the “right” people with the “right” language, dispostion, allergies and so on? See Hitler! He did this too! He at least used a gun so that we wouldn't have to see and live this hate every single day of our lives. 

3. When you refuse to be friends outside of the Church with the “disabled”, you tell Jesus you hate Him. Cold shoulders to the -deaf, stutterer, developmental delay disorder, mentally ill, etc.

The mentally ill do NOT have demons! I do not have “sin” as the reason why God isn't healing me. He wants YOU out of YOUR comfort zone! Oops! My apoligies! We worship different "Gods". I worship Y'Shua - a Jewish God of LOVE. You worship the Fake Jesus, the god of Satan and Hate. 

Try seeing God in a God-in-a-box church? No laying on of hands, dancing, flags, and its hard to believe He is real. David worshiped in Spirit and in Truth with Dance. I only saw God in my face at a charismatic spirit-filled place of worship and was scared, and I also saw God at a Messianic Synagogue.

Will I attend a place of worship in England if God ever lets me move their? Probably not.

Why? I am tired of synagogues meeting at churches who act like asthmatics and those with the wrong allergies belong in Hell. I just don't want to fight that battle anymore! I hate it!

Besides, I can't even marry. Why? I can't worship your god. How many single men do you know are willing to give up the ChickCow for his date? Its an integrity issue! I carry an epi-pen for the poultry, but am allergic to meats as well. I keep Biblically Kosher. Why? Unlike you, I do not believe that Jesus died so that I can ignore the Old Testament because those laws can't save, therefore, I can do as I please. Jesus never corrected my thinking here about not eating pork, but DID Convict Many people who attended my Messianic Synagogue that Pork and Shellfish was wrong to eat! This isn't a salvation issue. It is an integrity issue. Either we believe that the Whole Bible is for now, or we don't. And YOU clearly do NOT believe that the ENTIRE BIBLE IS FOR NOW. YOU PICK AND CHOOSE WHICH PARTS APPLY TO YOU AND YOUR EVIL H ITLER BRIGADE! And no, I am not talking about the Punks. I am talking about the holier-than-thou churches of hate and discrimination. Angry? I am angry. I have reached my breaking point. There is no hope for me. I have no love in my life. I have no hope. YOU STOLE IT! My synagogue is no more. It is kaputt. Frank the arrogant one, murdered my synagogue with his holier than thou arrogance! I am through.

The only thing left for me to do, is save as much money as I can, and move to another part of this evil, evil country of hate. I need to move. I hate it here. I hate it so much that I am ready to scream at the top of my lungs. I should not scream, so I will move. I hate guns. I refuse to have a gun near me. But, I would love to kill many, many people - by the billions! Why? They will then know and feel my pain. And, they will never forget! What the muslims terrorist did, was only kill a small handful. But murder does not satisfy the lack of love in ones life. Murder does not beget love. It only begets hate. I would be giving the world over to its hate. This is not good. This is pure evil. I hate evil. I doubly hate pure evil. This is why I will save my money. This is why I will move. This is why I will try to get a book published. I hate evil. I refuse to bow down to evil and its filth.

Oh yes, I will move, and I will learn to WORSHIP ME MYSELF AND BLOODY I AND NO ONE ELSE IN MY LIFE! I DO NOT NEED YOUR EVIL SHIT IN MY FACE! I DO NOT NEED TO WORSHIP YOUR EVIL WHITE CRAP THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR NETHER REGIONS! I DO NOT NEED TO DIE ON MY WEDDING DAY YOU MURDEROUS MALE SPECIES OF ILL REPUTE! I DO NOT NEED YOUR SHIT IN MY FACE!