Only Children who are Actors does Drugs....NOT!

Look around you at every single school that houses children ages 13 - 18. Only look at those who do NOT work professionally in acting or modelling. How many of them are on drugs? How many of them drink?

Look around you at those same children in those schools, but this time only look at those who professionally act or model. How many of them are on drugs? How many of them drink?

Can we honestly say that acting and modeling causes children to drink and do drugs? Can we honestly say that if we BAN them from acting and modeling that they will NOT touch drinking and drugs? Seriously folks! Stop trying to ban children from acting and modeling. Instead, wouldn't it be better if we taught them how to deal with temptation and the stressers of life in the first place? Only those children who are taught how to deal with life face on, is really best equipped to stay away from drugs and alcohol. They are less likely to smoke too. And, just maybe, we can start with the adults and stop our own addictions. We drink and smoke. Some of us do drugs. What are we teaching kids? We are teaching them that a real adult who is worth their weight in Gold murders their body with drugs, alcohol and smoking. We are suicidal. We only deal with life through the bottom of a bottle, drugs or smoking. Our self-esteem is low. We follow the crowd of God-Haters and think that that is how we should be too. We are dying inside.

Some of us only have self-esteem if we wear make-up or dress sexy. Others only have self-esteem if they do only what the majority do. Guess what? Self-esteem doesn't come from the bottom of a compact kit or from how many men lust after you as you walk by. Self-esteem comes from within. Are you teaching your children this? You should be. I have gone to so many different churches and I look around. The bathrooms in American churches (haven't seen the toilets in UK yet) tend to have scented sprays or oils. I've seen many a women put on their make-up in there, or put on hair spray. God does not see an ugly wart when He looks at Women. Women see an ugly wart when they look at themselves. This ugly wart is the ghostly face they see in the mirror no matter how colourful their face is without make-up.

This view of self is why so many people are persuaded to follow the crowd towards drinking in the first place. This view of self is why so many people smoke. This view of self is why so many people do drugs. Acting or modeling did not cause this. Lack of true self-esteem caused this. Not learning how to deal with temptations or stresses in life causes drinking, doing drugs and or smoking. Teach your children how to deal with life - its temptations, it stresses, it up and downs - and you will have a child full of real self-esteem who stays true to themselves and stays clear of drugs, alcohol and smoking. They may even decide that they don't need to wear make-up. I did.

However, my parents did not teach me this. I taught  myself how to have self-esteem from within. I came from a very dysfunctional family. I was taught hate, fear, abandonment, 'parn' addiction and war. I had to teach myself so that I would not make the same mistakes the people all around me were making. I saw my mom wear make-up and still beat herself up because the house wasn't perfect enough.  I saw my dad parade around the house as he worshiped his own skin. He was a flake. He would make us attend church on Sundays, Legal Child 'Parnography camp' on weekends, and lead family Bible Study in his skin on that piano bench, with his fake tears of how much God meant to him. I only saw Hypocrisy. I only saw addiction. My mother was violent. She shook me until I passed out twice as an infant because she was afraid that she was going to be a bad mom. So, she became a bad mom - a black witch. I called her the 'B' word for many years. I even fantasized how some evil person would come into the house and murder my parents or murder me. (Hint: This was back then, and NOT how I am now! Why I've wrote this blog post.)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a killer disease. It kills families, friends, relationships, strangers, enemies it kills every living thing that gets in its way. It also kills peace. I was afraid of the night, not the dark. Even though blood was not shed in my immediate family, blood was shed in my mom's immediate family. She learned fear and abandonment from her mom and dad. Her dad was an alcoholic who killed her mom and then committed suicide. He wasn't taught how to deal with life. His relatives were drunks. The whole clan were drunks. They lived by the bottle, they swore by the bottle. They lived the bottle. The bottle killed them.

This is why we need to teach ourselves and our children how to deal with life without using a crutch. Drugs, smoking and drinking do not make life change for the better. Instead, those things will only make life change for the worst. My mother lost her parents to murder-suicide when she was Nine years old. It is time we stop the violence to our bodies and our suicidal tendencies. It is time we stop teaching our children how to commit slow suicide. Teach your children how to deal with stress and temptation. Teach them to stand up for others. Teach them how to live in harmony with others. (No, I'm not saying teach them pacifist lifestyle. The Jews were almost wiped out from Earth due to pacifist beliefs. Many people lost their lives and their freedom because of stupid pacifist who refused to believe what was really going on. You can NOT appease a maniac and get peace. Hint: Hamas means Violence. They are ONLY about Violence. They murdered 150 PALESTINIAN BOYS! And you thought they were all for kill the Jews in favour of the Palestinians. They aren't. They only want violence for violence's sake. Those 150 boys were mostly, but not all, kidnapped and forced to dig tunnels into Israel. Only a small amount of boys volunteered.)

PTSD needs to be dealt with in professional therapy and needs to include Life Skills, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Journaling with reframing, Anger management (in most cases), Stress Release classes, and proper diet and exercise. B vitamin supplements and D3 Vitamins are highly recommended.

Thanks for reading this!

Severe Autism Spectrum Disorder or Aspergers and fear of people

What is it like to be afraid of people? Its like having a spider phobia or a bee phobia except instead of avoiding those insects, you are forced to have them near you en mass every second of every day except when you sleep or can stay in your room. When in your room, you might hear those spiders or bees and this can scare you. Knowing that tomorrow, you will have to go out and face your phobia again is like facing hell. They become the enemy because you are so afraid of them, and because they never go away. They are always there, doing things you do not understand. They talk, they move and have body language that is foreign.

Imagine yourself kidnapped and put in the middle of a Muslim Extremists Camp. You are the only American. They have you surrounded as they go about their business. They make movements with their arms and hands but you do not understand what they are doing or saying. This is a rough idea of what it feels like to have a fear of people and be forced to move amongst them. The only difference is that the spoken and written language is often understood to a point. Its the body language that is often misunderstood. The finer points of language - the idioms, metaphors and ironies - can be missed or misunderstood by those with Autistic Spectrum disorders. Combine this with a mind that sees people as "the enemy" who is out to get you and you can have a recipe for disaster.

Another example is this. Putting a person who is afraid of people in a school, and making them mainstream and walk around at the same time as those people are walking around is the same as tossing a child into the middle of a lake and yelling at them to swim to shore without teaching them how to swim.

What is the solution then? With Severe Autism, they will use a circle rope and have the students hang on to the rope. They will slowly force the students to go a little closer to the inner circle and then bring them out, just so they get used to getting closer to people.

Hypnotism I am against on principle. However, I do wonder if it would have any long term effects on those with irrational fears. It might be cheaper then the method I personally prefer - Behavioral Therapy that includes 1 on 1 for forty hours per week, fifty weeks per year. This would be the type of therapy they use with severe OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) cases, but would have the procedure tailored specifically to the needs of the client. The therapist would go every wheres with the client and would act as an interpreter. They would also teach the client how to act and help them see the truth about someone else and about themselves. This therapy would happen at home to begin with. The client would not be forced into school until they are ready for school. They would slowly learn to get used to more people.

The client would not graduate into "being mainstreamed" ASAP. Instead, the goal would be to get the client comfortable with society as individuals and as a whole. Some of these clients have the problem that they see every cell in every leaf, and in every bark in every tree. These cells are everything a person says and does. These cells are every little minute detail in society. Imagine millions of these cells in every individual. You will see these cells as a person. The person who is afraid of people, sees the millions cells doing something other million cells. They then see billions of cells and do not always understand people as a person here and a different person there.  Their brain sees all the body language and speech at one time. This in turn becomes a blank wall. This wall contains so much data, that it is black and not readable. The text on that wall is black and looks like someone attempted to write the entire Bible on 1 sheet of paper and when they ran out of space, they started over from the top of the sheet. This is what it is like to have Severe Autism or Severe Aspergers and have a fear of people. This is how communication looks to me, in my brain.

It is hard to see peace, when you have an inability to sort through these cells, and piece them together to form a cohesive whole, and see one person only, and not all the other people and their cells. The Behavioral Therapist would help them sort through those cells and see the forest and then the trees, instead of seeing only the cells of that forest.

The client would write in some fashion stories that reflect their reality and the reality around them. They would read thousands of scripts that each contain the portion of dialogue to be understood that day. Role playing where they play the characters in those scripts would be apart of the therapy. They would learn how to act through acting classes that are strictly one on one, or two on one. More people will only be added to that class as the client is ready. The people added should include people who are like them and their teachers. Thus, if client A-One has graduated to having two teachers and client B-Two has graduated to having two teachers, then all 6 people would be apart of the class. However, the clients would be introduced to the new people one at a time and only when they are ready will the have all 6 in the same class at the same  time. The Six people includes the clients, of course.

The focus would be on life skills and living skills. Academics would be taught differently. A homeschooling method that included Sociological and Cultural approach to History, Maths, English, Grammar, and Science would be used. Specific techniques needed to help client overcome specific signs of a Learning Disability would also be included. For example, if the client has a cognitive disorder, meaning that they have Dyslexic Spectrum signs, but no one sign dominates, then they would have several Trainings that is specifically used on Auditory Dyslexics, Visual Dyslexics, Dyscalculia, and so on, as if they only had 1 of those signs instead of all of them. They would not be treated how Cognitive Disorders are currently treated as that method assumes an incapability of achieving anything great. This is does Cognitive Disorder Clients a disservice. I should know, I am one of them. My area of Savantness is in Social Science - Sociology. This is what I learned through personal life experiences and in my many classes I took at two Universities. I graduated from the latter, when they were registered as a college. They are becoming a University and are still deciding on their new name. I was an over-achiever who lacks the ability to pass the GRE so I can get my masters in the subject I was well versed in.

This is all I can say for now on this subject. The coffee shop I post at is busy and I am leaving.

What would I love to do in life?

I would love to take my education ideas to those with Cognitive Disorders and see how many of them we can keep off of disability and having better paying jobs then cleaning toilets for the rich while working only extreme part-time and even then, only no more then 4 hours max a week. If we're lucky, we can even wash those tables at those fast food places owned by the filthy rich who don't care how clean those tables are most of the time. It all depends on how busy they are. If they are too busy, they just want as many orders taken before the customers leave as possible. And, those tables? You aren't allowed to clean them. The filthy rich (and I am NOT talking about ALL rich, just the idiots amongst them who do this evil thing) would rather we focused on getting the customers in and out as quickly as possible and make them eat crap on crapped up tables! Filthy tables...tables piled on with germs and disease! Yes, I used to work at one of these places. I'll never work fast crap food again...ever! Those of you who call them McShit... You be correct! They ARE exactly that! Some are franchised so the rules change some between the various McD's. Their food speaks for itself and yet people still eat there. Go figure! Once I had a real burger made fresh and hot in Olive oil (back when I was still keeping burger down), I never craved McCrap again! Yes, Adult onset food allergy to Beef and Chicken. Could I sue McD's for causing this allergy due to the amount of times I had to eat it? ROFL No, I wouldn't! Ever!

My educational ideas?
Instead of treating Cognitive disorders with several different Dyslexic Spectrum Disorder "symptoms" as one entity to be treated like we currently treat cognitive disorders, we should instead treat each symptom individual in the exact same way we treat each individual  Dyslexic Spectrum Disorder.

Why? My Speech therapist treated my cognitive disorder's  Auditory Dyslexia as Auditory Dyslexia. This made me learn how to hear properly what people were telling me. It was NOT a cure. I still heard scrambled words in key paragraphs, making the entire paragraph rubbish from time to time. However, I still managed to not only graduate from high school, but I went on to college because my speech therapist taught me very well! I wasn't relegated to sub-par education because with a cognitive disorder, I should just "make do" and do the best that I can without expecting to do much. I told that I can do what ever I put my mind to, and wanted to achieve. I was also told to not expect straight A's, but I should really strive for B's. I promptly ignored that as I knew that if I tried for a B I would get a C and that if I tried for an A I would get B and an occasional A- that I was aiming for. Yes, this is how my brain works! :D

What would happen if we were help them overcome Dyslexia like we do the bright students with dyslexia? I think we would have less people like me on disability. We would save the government millions of dollars every year.

This is all I have to say on this matter. My brain just kicked out. LOL

Brilliant Idea to rid the world of "Evil"

I think we should take all people with the wrong "other abilities" and sentence them to no education of any kind because they are going to be on disability anyways. And, if we must, give them sub-par education. Oh wait! We do this now! Silly me! I thought we actually gave a *bleep* about the Deaf-Blind and afforded the experts they need in order for them to learn anything in this world. Notice EXTREME disgust in how we underfund education and in effect BAN experts that the deaf-blind need from getting the education they need and the funding they need so they can have good jobs working with the very people who most need them. We even have arrogantly refused to give the funds to the parents who try to send their children to Canada where at least 1 expert lives and works with these children. If I remember correctly, only 3 experts exist in North America.

What is the problem? Why do we give them a blind eye and the equivalent of a "die already, we don't care if you survive or not, who would care about someone like you"? Our actions give them this. As long as we refuse to fund the education they need to succeed in life we have, in effect told them to die and never ever ever have the socialization and education they need so they can learn who we are and what their world is. We have told them that they do not belong in our privileged world. WE have told THEM that WE only care about people with the "right" disabilities. WE care more about those who have an 90 IQ then we do the Deaf-Blind! That is outrageous! We should care equally for ALL children no matter what parts of them work and do not work! Period!

Lets start funding Education for real! Lets start forcing the Federal Government to pay for the education of the Deaf-Blind of this world.

FireFuch and Flash ist Schelcht!

CAVEAT: ALL of the below may be FALSE IF the real issue is because I, MYSELF have a driver that was not updated. So, it might be MY ERROR. I'll find that out as soon as my Sister helps me update or see if my drivers need updating. I can't remember what drivers I have. 

I have never ever in my entire life seen such crappy Olympic coverage online. Okay, maybe I had. Silverline was crap. However, this time Firefox keeps crashing on me every time I try to watch a video. Adobe Flash has been crashing on me with every update. I know they are trying to fix that issue (or I think they are). I've seen enough updates that just seem to indicate that maybe they are trying to fix it. However, I can NOT watch Handball. I can NOT watch Fencing. Both streams kept crashing and I know for a fact that it is NOT YouTube having issues because of server load. Google proved their worth long ago with the Royal Wedding coverage. I had no issues there ever.

However, here, I've had nothing but issues. Firefox has ALWAYS had the bombing issue if you have more then 1 window up, except when that 2nd window is only Gchat. Firefox does NOT allocate enough bandwidth to the 2nd window, but instead cheats it severely.

YouTube is often watched by millions of customers every day, and often at the same time. YouTube has not given me as much issues. Yes, yes, I've had some issues on YouTube, but its nothing like this. Adobe Flash plug-in is not working right, and keeps bombing. It even says that Adobe Flash has bombed. I've gone to website that use Flash adverts or Flash programming instead of HTML5 and CSS3 to get the same results, and that Flash has bombed. It is definitely Flash and not YouTube.

My wish is for Google to be allowed to take over Adobe Flash and own it, and milk it as their own. They would fix it so that it would work. BTW, I'm watching the events that aren't popular and still having issues. Go figure. I'm off to go do something else. NBC doesn't think I give a darn about Fencing beyond USA. They be very wrong. NBC thinks I only want to watch the very popular sports and only USA's involvement in them. They be very wrong. Too bad Adobe had to muck up Flash yet again!

I am God MicroShit At it Again

Microsoft came up with something new, as if their Vishit crap and fall out wasn't bad enough. They've add a YOU MUST HAVE THIS Homegroup.

I did not ask for it to be put on my computer.
I did not want it on my computer.
I did not want it on my desktop where it MUST be there can NOT be deleted and can NOT be moved to a folder.
I hate anal retentive Bloody Arses - with a royal passion!

How do you get rid of it? See the EXTERNAL LINK.

What did they do before? With Vista they programmed that OS to NOT work with as many programs as they could just so that we'd be forced to worship their crapware as if it was the end all solution too all of our needs. Many Techies who live, eat and sleep Computer were pissed! We spend hundreds of dollars on programs that no longer worked. We scrambled to get XP back. Those who had double boot Ubuntu - Vista computers, just used Ubuntu and ignored Vista until they could get XP reinstalled. You would think that Microshit would learn that we HATE their programs, HATE their insistence that they know what we want. They don't and won't ever know because they still view the world very egocentrically.

God Bless Lucrative Non-USA

Have a job? Just wait! You'll lose it overseas!
Want to buy something online with a gift card? Just Wait! It will be denied because the business processing bank is overseas.
Want to buy software online with a gift card? Just Wait! You can't even use it through PayPal because the Gift Card issuing bank will STILL deny it because they deny PayPal because the business you are really purchasing from...is still OVERSEAS!

And, you wonder why you can't find work? My biggest beef about all of this is I want to move to England so badly that it hurts. My fave sports and music is overseas. My fave cheese is overseas. Everything I love...architecture, nature, accents...is overseas. And No, I'm not talking about quaint English cottages. They can keep those, thank you very much. I love English Tudor. I lived in a faux English Tudor as a child and always loved it.

I just feel like I live in a prison where you are only allowed to buy crappy stuff that doesn't give tuppence about your likes, allergies or interest. Crappy really only applies to Walmart cheap junk and almost ALL food. That is because the Foolish Drug Arses (FDA) does not WANT you to know what is in your food. They'd rather you died already like a good little bloody arse. Sorry, but I refuse to die.

My other issue is that I need a root canal and NO ONE can pay for it. Gov't doesn't give tuppence again whether I live or die. They don't give Dental coverage and those bastards in office is trying to reverse Obama Care - which admittedly, is bad when they require you to pay money you don't have. Let's face it, medical is not cheap. And, it doesn't bring the cost down where we can afford it. However, for those who want it, I say they should be allowed to get it.

And, my family? My dad doesn't want to pay for it and insist that his friends always got their dental care for free and that I can too. His friends kept going into nursing homes where dental IS free as far as immediate out of pocket is concerned, but is NOT free in the end, because you are just paying the Nursing Home bill which is high. They take as much as they can get out of you.

Also, MA - Medical Assistance. That pays too. However, because I am on disability, I get Medicrap which is not the same thing, and won't pay. I can't get MA. I do not qualify because I DO have medical.

Lastly, there is this program out where I live (forget the name), but in short if you are on disability and FIND a part time job, you might get some dental coverage but not necessarily. It would be through Minnesota Care. The problem is that if you make too much on disability, then you don't qualify for the program. If you don't have a part time job, you don't qualify. And, if you make too much money between disability AND the part time job, you don't qualify. I didn't qualify before because I made too much money on disability. I was the bloody arse who bent over backwards too stay OFF of disability and work for as long as I could. It would have been cheaper for me to simply stop working a few years sooner. No Thanks!

And, let's say you qualify for the program. Then what? NO dental office wants you because the government refuses to pay the reality check for dental care. Is root canals covered? I don't know. My Social Worker has not called me back and if she is out of town, then I won't ever know. I don't have that much time.

Bottom line is that if I don't get the Root Canal taken care of in a timely manner, then I die. End of story. And, my dad is shelling out $10000 for cremation and a head stone because he was the arse who refused to pay for the root canal in a timely manner. And I WIN because I won't have the stress I am under now and won't have to deal with Mr. Willie Head. Brits: Yes, I am combining terms here that in American English is harmless. My apologies to you because I really do mean the British meaning here.

Truthfully, Europe is in an economic dumps. USA  is in an economic dumps and the only economy that is booming is the bloody rich in India where all the jobs went. And, I will eventually move to England. It just might take an act of God to get me out of England once I arrive. I've never appreciated USA ever since I was a little girl. I've healed from the pain, but never could get England out of my mind. Ever. I tried. I assumed that when I forgave everyone millions of times for everything they do wrong repeatedly, that I would be happy just spending 2 weeks in England every so often on Holiday. No, not true. That was a delusion. England is not perfect, but perfection wasn't what I was after. Yes, taxes are a little higher there then here. It really is comparable to here though. I've checked and it really isn't all that bad. With insurance cost, I was paying close to 30% of my salary to medical and taxes, which is only slightly cheaper then the tax bracket I might get in England. However, my insurance was heavily subsidized by the company I worked for. Had I been working for McDonald's, I would be paying a lot higher price - $300 more, approximately.

USA has given me freedom from tyranny. Bull! I am under tyranny of being part of the not privileged group of people with the "rare" allergies. I am part of the not privileged group of people on disability. I am tyranized, discriminated against, kicked to the curb and despite all of this, I refuse to give up and die. I'll die on my own terms. And, if the root canal kills me, then the prophecy over my head was a lie. I doubt that, so my dad will be forced to pay for the root canal. My mom will probably take me and pay for it.

My sister will help me spend the gift card on her groceries and her gas. I'll get cash to spend elsewhere. I won't get my music from England. I won't get the software program from overseas. I won't get all the things you take for granted. I won't make money off of that software that allows you to create games and possibly, if you are good enough, sell them for money. I won't get off of disability that way. I didn't think it was possible for me to sell my own games I created anyways. I'm not that good. I'll just have to wait a few more months and see what is up then. I believe I'll meet Mr. Right very soon. It might not be this year, but I will...after all my major bills come due.

UPDATE:  MA rules changed so now I have a $500 spenddown that makes me HOMELESS because I can NOT pay my morgage. Fuching Feds and the State do NOT give a damn about what things really cost to do business these days but insist that if they pay 80's prices that the business owners will lower the price. FEDERAL and STATE GOV'T IS A PACK OF SHIESSKOPFS WITH THEIR FUCHING HEADS IN THE SAND! To hell with them! I've been voting them out of office for years!